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Ponder This . . .

. . . then my life flashed before my eyes!!!
I've heard about people who had near death experiences.  They always say the same thing . . . "My life flashed before my eyes!"  So this brings up a question.  What if some guy dies who was real active?  You know, maybe he had like 20 to 30 businesses, he did a lot in his community, he was like the Brady Bunch and had like 6 kids, and he lived to be something like 107 before kickin' the bucket.  Now when the Grim Reaper comes to take this guy, do you think he has to wait around about 5 or 10 minutes before this guy's life finishes flashing before his eyes?  Maybe the Reaper carries a book around so he has something to read because he knows some people's lives are going to take a little longer than expected.
Why do turtles cross the road?
I know why chickens cross the road, but I'm not talking about chickens.  You see, I live in a place where there's lots and lots of turtles.  And somewhere around . . . oh . . . spring time, they start waking up.  Aaaannnndddd also around this time, you start to see them . . . ON THE ROAD!!! . . . or right next to the road THINKING about getting on the road!!!  Why???  Because the grass is greener???  9 times out of 10 they're going to get run over and they're guts are going to be splattered all over.  To the right of them, they have miles and miles of open field.  To the left of them, they have miles and miles of open field.  Right behind them, they have miles and miles of open field.  And most of the time, they have a pond, a creek, or a river that's less than 50 yards away.  In 3 different directions, they have thousands of acres with grass where they can eat, frolic during the day, and rest at night.  But here's a turtle's thinking:  "A long life with a full belly, peace, and safety isn't enough for me.  I want to be in that field over there!  Why?  Because it has thousands of acres with grass where I can eat, frolic during the day, and rest at night.  And OH WOW!!! . . . there's even a pond less than 50 yards away.  All I have to do is walk across this road!!!"  Stupid turtles!
What would you see and what would you hear?
If you took the nerves that connect your eyes to your brain and the nerves that connect your ears to your brain and switched them so that your eyes were plugged into the hearing part of your brain and your ears were plugged into the sight part of your brain, what would you see and what would you hear?
How many ants are there?
According to there are roughly 6 - 7 billion people in the world.  So how many ants are there?
Why do golf balls have dimples?
Why do pigs have flat noses?
How much is a year's supply?
Say you win a year's supply of chocolate bars at a game show.  How do they calculate a year's supply?  I might eat one candy bar a month so a year's supply for me would be 12.  But there are some people who eat a candy bar a day.  For them a year's supply is 365.  Do they take an average based on America's population and the number of candy bars sold in America for a year?  Or do they poll their employees on how many candy bars they eat in a year and take the average of that?  Or do they just assume you eat one a day and give you 365?  If they're going to do that, why not just assume you eat two a day and give you 730?
Where did the phrase "Monkey on your back" come from?
I know what it means:  You need to take care of something, someone's bothering you, and things like that.  But how did we get this phrase?  Do some people in the world have a problem with monkeys climbing on them?  In Africa, do monkeys drop from trees and land on people's backs and won't get off?
What is the scroll lock button for?
Look in the upper right corner of your keyboard.  There's three buttons . . . print screen, num lock, and scroll lock . . . right there!
Nuts and seeds
I eat sunflower seeds.  I've also heard them called sunflower nuts.  So are nuts seeds?  If they are, then are seeds also nuts?  What if I were a nut?  Does that mean I'm also a seed?  If I am a seed, am I also a nut?
Why IF a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This makes me mad.  Everyone knows how the riddle goes, right?  But why "IF a woodchuck could chuck wood?"  It imposes on the reader that he FIRST answer whether or not a woodchuck can even chuck wood . . . But let me tell you a secret:  IT'S A WOODCHUCK!!!  If the animal COULDN'T chuck wood, then it wouldn't be a woodchuck would it.  So why do we make the reader waste time even thinking whether or not a woodchuck can chuck wood?  It's redundant, it's unnecessary, and it's pointless.  It's a woodchuck . . . it can chuck wood, OK?  So don't ask ME if a woodchuck could chuck wood.  Don't slow MY life down with useless thoughts.  Don't waste MY time on meaningless clutter.  Let's figure out how MUCH wood it can chuck!!!
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